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Wreck of the Sloop John B

According to Wikipedia, “The John B. Sails” is a Bahamian folk song from Nassau. A transcription by Richard Le Gallienne was published in 1916, and a version was included in Carl Sandburg’s The American Songbag in 1927. Since the early 1950s there have been many recordings; variant titles include “I Want to Go Home“, “Wreck of the John B“, and “Sloop John B“. Note that the lyrics reproduced below never mention the John B being wrecked. (The photo was taken at Nassau, Bahama Islands, c. 1900.)

JohnB
We came on the sloop “John B”
My grandfather and me
‘Round Nassau town we did roam
Stayed awake all night
We got into a fight
Well, I feel so broke up
I want to go home

Hoist up the “John B” sail
See how the mains’l’s sets
Tell the captain ashore
I wanna go home
Well, I wanna go home
I wanna go home
Lord, I feel so broke up
I just wanna go home

Well, the first mate he got drunk
And he broke into somebody’s trunk
And the Sheriff had to come and take him away
Sheriff John Slone
Please let me alone
Well, I fell so broken up
I just wanna go home

Hoist up the “John B” sail
See how the mains’l’s sets
Tell the captain ashore
I wanna go home
Lord, I wanna go home
I just wanna go home
Well, I feel so broken up
I just wanna go home

Hoist up the “John B” sail
See how the mains’l’s sets
Tell the captain ashore
I wanna go home
Well, I wanna go home
I wanna go home
Lord, I feel so broken up
I just wanna go home
Well, I feel so broken up
I wanna go home

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Storms Are On The Ocean

One of my favorite cuts from June Carter Cash’s album Wildwood Flower is her version (at YouTube) of “Storms are on the Ocean.” Another early Carter Family version, also on YouTube, is by The Carter Sisters – Storms Are On The Ocean.

Christ in the Storm on the Lake of Galilee

I suspect most folks, like myself, assumed that the lyrics to this song were from a single source, even if the source is obscure. But apparently that’s not so — according to the musicologist Bob Waltz (writing at Remembering the Old Songs), it’s probably a composite of lyrics from at least two sources.

This was one of the first songs recorded by the Carter Family; according to Wikipedia, it was released by Victor records on December 2, 1928. Another YouTube version of the Carter Family singing it dates it even earlier: “Bristol Recording August 1st 1927.”

In any case, here are the lyrics, as transcribed by Bob Waltz:

I’m going away for to leave you, love,
I’m going away for a while.
But I’ll return to you some time
If I go ten thousand miles.

Chorus:
The storms are on the ocean,
The heavens may cease to be.
The world may lose its motion, love,
If I prove false to thee.

Oh, who will shoe your pretty little foot?
And who will glove your hand?
And who will kiss your red, rosy cheeks
When I’m in a foreign land?

Papa will shoe my pretty little foot,
Mama will glove my hand,
And you can kiss my red rosy cheeks
When you come back again.**

I’m never going back on the ocean, love;
I’m never going back on the sea.
I’m never going back on the pretty little girl
Who gave her heart to me.

Bill

Union Pacific Rules

UPlogo_slogan

1.6: Conduct

Employees must not be:
1. Careless of the safety of themselves or others
2. Negligent
3. Insubordinate
4. Dishonest
5. Immoral
6. Quarrelsome
or
7. Discourteous
Any act of hostility, misconduct, or willful disregard or negligence affecting the interest of the company or its employees is cause for dismissal.

From Union Pacific Rules. Includes Updates as of February 27, 2012

Comment: If Congress were to implement these rules, there would be no congresspeople...

They that go down to the sea in ships: Eternal Father, Strong to Save

23 They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters;

24 These see the works of the Lord, and his wonders in the deep.

25 For he commandeth, and raiseth the stormy wind, which lifteth up the waves thereof.

26 They mount up to the heaven, they go down again to the depths: their soul is melted because of trouble.

27 They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, and are at their wit’s end.

28 Then they cry unto the Lord in their trouble, and he bringeth them out of their distresses.

29 He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still.

30 Then are they glad because they be quiet; so he bringeth them unto their desired haven.

Psalm 107. KJV

Christ in the Storm on the Lake of Galilee

Eternal Father, strong to save,
Whose arm hath bound the restless wave,
Who bidd’st the mighty ocean deep
Its own appointed limits keep;
Oh, hear us when we cry to Thee,
For those in peril on the sea!
O Christ! Whose voice the waters heard
And hushed their raging at Thy word,
Who walkedst on the foaming deep,
And calm amidst its rage didst sleep;
Oh, hear us when we cry to Thee,
For those in peril on the sea!
Most Holy Spirit! Who didst brood
Upon the chaos dark and rude,
And bid its angry tumult cease,
And give, for wild confusion, peace;
Oh, hear us when we cry to Thee,
For those in peril on the sea!
O Trinity of love and power!
Our brethren shield in danger’s hour;
From rock and tempest, fire and foe,
Protect them wheresoe’er they go;
Thus evermore shall rise to Thee
Glad hymns of praise from land and sea.

William Whiting

Paraprosdokians

1: Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

2: I’m supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder for me to find one.

3. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

5. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, “In case of emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR.”

6. He was at his best when the going was good.

7. If I am reading this graph correctly—I’d be very surprised.

8. You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing—after they have tried everything else.

9. I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

10. He’s a modest man, and he has much to be modest about.

11. I like going to the park and watching the children run around because they don’t know I’m using blanks.

12. If I could just say a few words…I’d be a better public speaker.

13. I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

14. She was good as cooks go, and as cooks go she went.

15. I sleep eight hours a day and at least ten at night.

16. I don’t belong to an organized political party. I’m a Democrat.

17. That’s no lady, that’s my wife!

18. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

19. War doesn’t determine who is right, only who is left.

20. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

21. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

22. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

23. Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool.

24. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

25. The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

26. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

27. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others, whenever they go.

28. Some people believe football is a matter of life and death, I am very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that. (Bill Shankly, speaking of soccer)

29. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

30. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

31.I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

32. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

33. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

34. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

35. The evening TV news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

36. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.

37. How can one careless match start a forest fire, when it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

38. Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

39. I didn’t say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.

40. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?

41. Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

42. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

43. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

44. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

45. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

46. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

47. Hospitality is making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.

48. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

49. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

50. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

51. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

52. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

53. Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

54. A bus is a vehicle that goes twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

55. If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

 

 

More coming soon!

Another Politician Asks Forgiveness

“There’s no doubt I’ve fallen short and I’m asking for forgiveness. I’m asking for forgiveness from God, my wife, my kids, my staff, and my constituents who elected me to serve. Trust is something I know has to be earned whether your a husband, a father, or a congressman. I promise to do everything I can to earn back the trust of everyone I’ve disappointed. From day one, I’ve always tried to be an honest man. I ran for congress to make a difference and not to just be another politician. I don’t want to make a political statement on this, I would just simply like to say that I’m very sorry for what I’ve done. While I realize I serve the public, I would appreciate the privacy given to my children as we get through this.”

Rep. Vance McAllister (April 7, 2014)

Vance McAllister“I’ve never been to Washington a day in my life” … “Whether you’re a Democrat or Republican, I want everyone to know that I’m here, we’ll talk, we’ll visit,” McAllister said. “I want everybody to know I’m approachable. I’m a true conservative, but I’m an American first.”

Rep. Vance McAllister (November, 2013)

“A married freshman Republican congressman who campaigned on his Christian, conservative values apologized Monday after surveillance video surfaced purportedly showing him in a lengthy liplock with a staffer. In the Dec. 23 footage, obtained by a local newspaper, Rep. Vance McAllister, R-La. – who ahead of his election last fall ran multiple campaign ads trumpeting his faith and family – is seen kissing and embracing a woman for about 20 seconds at his Monroe, La., district office. The Ouachita Citizen reports the woman is the congressman’s 33-year-old part-time scheduler, who is also married.”

CBS News (April 7, 2014)

Vance McAllister, a small business owner, is currently serving his first term in the U.S. House of Representatives. Vance is proudly representing the people of Louisiana’s Fifth Congressional District which is geographically the largest in the state of Louisiana, covering 24 parishes… It is an honor for him to serve his country and the people of Louisiana… Vance and his wife of 16 years, the former Kelly Duncan, reside in Swartz and are the proud parents of 5 children.

ABOUT” at http://mcallister.house.gov

Jonah and the Great Fish

3 Jonah … went down to Joppa; and he found a ship going to Tarshish: so he paid the fare thereof, and went down into it, to go with them unto Tarshish from the presence of the LORD.

4 But the LORD sent out a great wind into the sea, and there was a mighty tempest in the sea, so that the ship was like to be broken.

5 Then the mariners were afraid, and cried every man unto his god, and cast forth the wares that were in the ship into the sea, to lighten it of them. But Jonah was gone down into the sides of the ship; and he lay, and was fast asleep.

6 So the shipmaster came to him, and said unto him, What meanest thou, O sleeper? arise, call upon thy God, if so be that God will think upon us, that we perish not.

7 And they said every one to his fellow, Come, and let us cast lots, that we may know for whose cause this evil is upon us. So they cast lots, and the lot fell upon Jonah.

8 Then said they unto him, Tell us, we pray thee, for whose cause this evil is upon us; What is thine occupation? and whence comest thou? what is thy country? and of what people art thou?

9 And he said unto them, I am an Hebrew; and I fear the LORD, the God of heaven, which hath made the sea and the dry land.

10 Then were the men exceedingly afraid, and said unto him, Why hast thou done this? For the men knew that he fled from the presence of the LORD, because he had told them.

11 Then said they unto him, What shall we do unto thee, that the sea may be calm unto us? for the sea wrought, and was tempestuous.

12 And he said unto them, Take me up, and cast me forth into the sea; so shall the sea be calm unto you: for I know that for my sake this great tempest is upon you.

13 Nevertheless the men rowed hard to bring it to the land; but they could not: for the sea wrought, and was tempestuous against them.

14 Wherefore they cried unto the LORD, and said, We beseech thee, O LORD, we beseech thee, let us not perish for this man’s life, and lay not upon us innocent blood: for thou, O LORD, hast done as it pleased thee.

15 So they took up Jonah, and cast him forth into the sea: and the sea ceased from her raging.

16 Then the men feared the LORD exceedingly, and offered a sacrifice unto the LORD, and made vows.

17 Now the LORD had prepared a great fish to swallow up Jonah. And Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights.

JonahAndTheWhale

1 Then Jonah prayed unto the LORD his God out of the fish’s belly,

2 And said, I cried by reason of mine affliction unto the LORD, and he heard me; out of the belly of hell cried I, and thou heardest my voice.

3 For thou hadst cast me into the deep, in the midst of the seas; and the floods compassed me about: all thy billows and thy waves passed over me.

4 Then I said, I am cast out of thy sight; yet I will look again toward thy holy temple.

5 The waters compassed me about, even to the soul: the depth closed me round about, the weeds were wrapped about my head.

6 I went down to the bottoms of the mountains; the earth with her bars was about me for ever: yet hast thou brought up my life from corruption, O LORD my God.

7 When my soul fainted within me I remembered the LORD: and my prayer came in unto thee, into thine holy temple.

8 They that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercy.

9 But I will sacrifice unto thee with the voice of thanksgiving; I will pay that that I have vowed. Salvation is of the LORD.

10 And the LORD spake unto the fish, and it vomited out Jonah upon the dry land.


King James Bible. Jonah 1:3-2:10. Illustration by Marx Anton Hannas